It has been too long, my adoring public, and I am sorry for neglecting you. I have been traveling around the eastern part of the country with my mom. Dad's been gone on a missions trip for 5 weeks so far and I miss him terribly. But I made him pay for it. I cried a lot when I first saw him. I thought it was pretty clever but I don't think he shared my opinion.

So here's where I've been. I went to Kentucky to visit my mom's friends, Dave & Nora Brown. Dave is from Northern Ireland and Nora is from Northern Kentucky. Dave nicknamed me "Wee Mike" because I look so much like my dad. They have a daughter named Kailey who is very blonde and very verbally precocious. That girl's got attitude! I thought I might pick up some tips to save for later, but my mom has already put the fear of God in me, so maybe I'll try to conveniently forget what I've learned to save myself future spankings. While I was there I got stepped on by a cat which was a bit humiliating, then I got stepped on by a little boy which was even more humbling. He was just showing off 'cause he can walk and I can't. I showed him though, I took his remote control.

Then we were off to Indiana to stay with my Aunt Mindy and Uncle James. They absolutely adore me. Aunt Mindy would sneak me tastes of chocolate if she thought she could win in a wrestling watch with my mom. She did send me some baby food dessert. My mom doesn't get it for me because she's afraid that the sugar will make me more "hyper-spastic" than I already am. Is that even a word? My mom tends to make them up sometimes. Mindy and James have a very large Great Dane named Aurora. I wasn't even a bit afraid of her. She wasn't afraid of me either, even when I grabbed her fur and tried to get her to drag me across the floor.

From there we went back to Chicago for a week. I don't remember much happening there, except that my Aunt Erin came to visit us from Ohio. And my Aunt Hannah came to visit from Canada.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. One day I had a bump and scratch on my cheek. The next morning I woke up and there was a bunch of blisters and a red line of blisters under my eye. It didn't hurt, but my mom kept referring to it as my "flesh-eating virus," which made me a bit nervous. We went to the emergency room. I loved loved loved the paper on the hosptial beds. So crinkly! People kept coming into the room to tell me how cute and good I was. I didn't mind that. Really it was a lovely experience. There was even a cute ambulance driver guy that came in. He only came in to put the rail up on the bed because he didn't trust my mom to not let me roll off the bed onto the floor.

From Chicago we flew to Philadelphia. The plane was a bit tight. We sat all the way in the back. There was this cute teenaged boy in the seat in front of me and when I stood on my mom's lap I kept grabbing at his hat so he would turn and look at me. He was very good about it all. I was very brave on the plane. I didn't cry at all, and I even slept through the landing!

In Philly we went to a museum that had lots of skeletons and body parts in jars. The cases reached from floor to ceiling so I got a good view of everything. It didn't even freak me out.

From Philadelphia we drove to New Jersey with my Aunt Cindy and my cousins Paige, Maddie, and Max. I went on the beach for the first time. The water was cold and I didn't mind it but sometimes it came up too fast and I'd get a little scared like I was going to be washed out to sea or something.

From Atlantic City we took a bus to New York City. On the way I had a huge nasty stinky diaper and it took my mom and a stranger to change it! My mom and I took a lot of walks in Manhattan. I fell asleep a lot in the stroller so my recollection is a bit hazy. In New York I met people from all over the world. England, South Africa, Russia, Israel, France, Colombia, Trinidad,etc. I am a very cosmopolitan baby.

Today we took the train with my dad to Long Island to visit his family. I am staying with Grandma and Grandpa. I felt like a part of the royal family. Grandma kept bringing in armfuls of gifts. Jesus got frankincense and myrrh, but I got books and toys and clothes! Not bad for a mere mortal.

To sum it all up, in the last six weeks I have traveled by plane, train, bus, subway and taxi. All that is left is zeppelin, rickshaw, hovercraft, helicopter, hot air balloon, dogsled and boat. I am working on it.

Jacqui is back! We’ve been spending a lot of time together. I really like her. We go out a lot and walk around the city. Mom pushes the stroller and Jacqui is on Monkey Patrol. That means that she has to look out for George W. to make sure that he doesn’t fall out of the stroller. She’s not too good at it. One time George W. fell out and my mom actually ran over him in the middle of the street before they realized he was gone.

Yesterday my dad took me for a walk and we were almost home when he realized George W. was gone. We had to walk back almost 10 blocks to find him. And it was not a cool refreshing day either. Monkey Patrol can be hard if you’re the only one. It’s not easy maneuvering around broken sidewalks and crazy people and making sure George W. does not stray from the stroller. Mom and Dad are talking about getting some kind of tethering device to insure that George W. does not fall too far from the stroller.

Currently Reading The Lucy Cousins Book of Nursery Rhymes By Lucy Cousins see related

I’ve been throwing up a lot more lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been sick or what. All I know is that it makes my dad mad and it makes my mom laugh. I guess that’s because my dad gets hit most, so my mom can watch and laugh from afar. I did throw up on my mom but it wasn’t nearly as fun. She doesn’t make a big fuss like my dad does. She didn’t even flinch. So my dad is a much better target.

The other day my dad was sitting on the couch next to my mom and Libby was in the chair next to the couch. My dad is swinging me around and standing me up on his lap. My mom looks over at him and starts cracking up. She slaps Libby so she can look too and they’re both losing it. I am terribly pleased with myself. My dad turns and says, “What?” He didn’t even notice I had thrown up on his beard. In two places! Big white blobs of curdled milk on his face.

Currently Reading My Many Colored Days Board Book By Dr. Seuss, Steve Johnson, Lou Fancher see related